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If you are struggling with PCOS and find your internal chatter wondering, “Why me! Why am I cursed with PCOS?!”, you need to read this post!

I asked Danielle from PCOS Aware to share her inspiring journey and insights, and I know this may sound very odd, but I also asked her to explain how she came to realise that there are benefits to having PCOS. How she changed her PCOS mindset and hauled her fabulous self on top of this syndrome, plus her clarity and joy on her new journey.

Here are Danielle’s thoughts,

Enjoy!..

“One Sunday afternoon, I sat on a comfy couch and started writing, to get clarity on what I’ve learnt. That’s the thing I value most about having PCOS – it’s set me on this path of learning much more about myself than I would have explored without it.

Here are her Top 5 Learnings

1. Dealing with Shame

“Shame needs three things to grow exponentially in our lives: secrecy, silence and judgement. When I think…..is there something about me, that if other people see it or know it, that I won’t be worthy of connection” – Brene Brown

Brené Brown is one of my favourite speakers – her work on vulnerability, shame, and courage continues to resonate with me (I highly recommend checking out her TED Talks).

For a long time, my PCOS symptoms were something I tried to hide and was ashamed of – in particular, my hair growth, infertility and weight gain. I would never talk about them, even to my closest friends and family and it stopped me from meeting new people or forming new relationships. I would constantly judge myself as less of a woman.

By talking about it (slowly and taking baby steps) and letting myself be seen over time, I’ve seen a significant change in how I see and value myself. 

2. The Language I Choose

How I talk to myself is an ongoing journey for me, one that I’m continuing to learn from.

I’ve realised that how I talk to myself is critical. A good friend once said to me, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love”. A vision of my 7-year-old niece came to mind – how would I talk to her if she’d made a mistake (especially if she was trying something new).

The way I was talking to myself was berating, “What did you do that for? Why did you say that?” whereas the reaction to my niece would have been one of encouragement for trying something new. I now stop myself if I am judging or berating myself – and ask, ‘How would I talk to her if she’d done the same thing?’

I’ve found it can be a very powerful tool! 

3. My Support Network

“The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle? ME TOO”… Brene Brown

By opening myself up and connecting, I have created an excellent support network around me. Core friends with whom I can laugh, get angry, and in the end, will just listen when I need a rant or a few giggles. Talking about it has lessened my shame and made all the difference.

By being open about my PCOS, I also find that I am connecting to a whole new set of friends and women in a similar struggle. Every time I connect and we talk about our struggles, I heal a little more myself.

4. Being Vulnerable 

I now genuinely believe that my imperfections and what makes me vulnerable are what make me beautiful.

We all live in a vulnerable world, and my way to deal with it was through closing myself off and through emotional eating – numbing myself.

My problem was that I couldn’t numb the hard feelings without also numbing the good. I ended up numbing joy, gratitude, and happiness, and then I became miserable and felt vulnerable, and then I numbed again. It became a dangerous cycle.

By accepting and sitting with my feelings – whether I am angry, sad, or fearful- and not going straight to the fridge, I’ve allowed myself to learn so much more about myself.

5. Meditation

We all seem to lead really busy lives nowadays. I’ve always been a “technical, left-brained” person – I love to read, learn and work in a job where my brain always seems to be “on”.

When I first started meditation, my thoughts kept running around in my head, and I doubted that this would ever change.

Having spent some time now meditating every day (often this is just stopping and breathing for a few minutes before going on to my next task) I now can clear my mind and stop and breathe.

I now find it such a relief to give my mind and body a break.

“Through the above techniques and a new way of eating, I’ve lost 25kgs in 4 months, and I have done it with ease and grace. I can’t tell you what a relief it is after over 20 years of struggle.”

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