If you have a poor PCOS libido, you’re in good company.
And there’s no question. Sex is an important part of any romantic long-term relationship. But how much of it is considered healthy?
Although the answer sort of runs the gamut, last March, TIME magazine published an article citing that (on average) couples have sex a little more than once a week and for the most part, that is considered to be “healthy”.
Why is healthy the appropriate word in this case?
There are many reasons.
The oxytocin hormone that intensifies during sex helps to relieve stress and cause couples to bond more on an emotional level.
Physically, the health benefits of sex are countless. Sex does everything from strengthening your heart and lowering your blood pressure to improving your immune system and (if you’re a woman) keeping your bladder in great shape. Sex may help to relieve women’s menstrual cramps, decrease anxiety, prevent cancer, boost brain power and can even serve as an anti-depressant—and that’s just for starters!
Sex can be both enjoyable and support the mind, body, and spirit.
But what might you do if you want to have more sex but you struggle with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which can lead to symptoms like weight gain, acne, and painful intercourse?
Is there anything you can do to feel more confident and attractive?
Five Tips for Feeling Sexier During Intimacy When You Have PCOS
Eat the right kinds of foods.
If there is a silver lining to receiving a PCOS diagnosis, it’s that it can encourage you to take better care of yourself, starting with your diet. When your hormones are imbalanced, you need to consume foods that help combat insulin resistance while slowing down the digestive process, allowing your body to absorb the necessary nutrients.
Some of those foods include almonds, berries, sweet potatoes, broccoli, and lean proteins like fish and free-range chicken, as well as vegetarian options like nuts and seeds.
A bonus of these types of foods is that they provide the fibre you need to maintain a healthy body weight while removing toxins, allowing your skin to remain free of blemishes.
Pamper yourself with essential oils.
Another essential component that can provide your system with additional support is essential oils. You can keep your stress levels down with the soothing scent of lavender; sweet fennel is great at stabilising your hormones (so that your menstrual cycle is more regulated); cinnamon is considered to be an aphrodisiac that can help to stabilise your weight; ylang-ylang can balance out your mood swings, and jasmine has an excellent reputation for boosting your PCOS libido.
Plus, they will all make you smell amazing, and if you get a soy candle in one of these scents, it can create the perfect ambience for both you and your partner.
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Sign up for a class.
While orgasms are usually considered the “icing on the cake” of intimacy, when you’re dealing with PCOS, sometimes it’s the most painful part. If this is something you can personally relate to, you might want to consider seeing a reputable counsellor. Not because anything is “wrong” with you, but because climaxing is oftentimes just as psychological as it is physical.
As you’re able to share your concerns and fears, it can help release some of your tension and make intimacy easier to enjoy.
A therapist might even recommend signing up for a dance class to help you connect more deeply with your body or yoga to help release stress. As you learn more about your body and how it works, it can centre you, boost your confidence and make you more communicative with your partner about what your needs are in the bedroom.
This brings us to the next point.
Communicate with your partner.
Don’t let the sex scenes on television and in the movies fool you.
For two people to have a great sex life, there needs to be communication—talking about likes and dislikes, exploring sex positions that bring pleasure, and even times of day or night that are preferred.
Your partner isn’t looking for you to be perfect in your looks or in bed (because they aren’t); they want to be close to you and bring you pleasure. Sharing how you’re feeling about your condition and what you like and don’t like sexually will bring the two of you closer on an emotional level, which always benefits a couple physically in the long run and helps to boost a flagging PCOS libido.
Stop blaming yourself.
There may be days when you feel like you’re the only one in the world with PCOS, but you’re not. PCOS is common. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
See your health professional. Do your research. But also be loving, gentle and patient with yourself. PCOS doesn’t make you any less desirable or sexy, although it may make you feel it and bring your PCOS libido down accordingly. With the correct information and consistent proactive care, you can feel just as comfortable and confident as any other woman—both in the bedroom and out.
Guest author: Shellie R. Warren
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